Meg Carroll – Deputy Head of Primary

Raising well-adjusted children

I recently came across an article based on insight from family therapist, psychotherapist, and author Susan Stiffelman. She concludes that “parents create their kids’ sense of normal, which ingrains habits and behaviours that carry into adulthood”. 

If we want our children to be well-adjusted adults, Susan suggests that there is great value in showing children how to, rather than telling them how to. She recommends parent role-modelling to “most effectively foster well-adjusted, successful young adults.” In order to do this Stiffelman says that parents should let their kids see them:

Struggle

As Stiffelman puts it: “Let your kids see you struggle, how you handle it, how you get through it, how you rest, or how you ask for help.”

Cry

Because it helps them “become at ease with sadness,” as Stiffelman says. It demonstrates that children shouldn’t feel burdened with the need to override sad feelings.

Exercise

Modelling healthy living and eating as well as time away from devices is very important.

Attend to the universe, not just the ‘you-niverse’

Not only does this mean uplifting others but also refers to “voluntarily shifting focus outside yourself to engage in kind acts” or role-modeling the importance of the world beyond self. Stiffelman adds: “One of the most effective ways for children to feel that they’re meaningful and that they matter is when they can improve or uplift someone else – not just a parent/carer.”

Learn

Showing you’re a lifelong learner communicates that reading, skill development and discovery don’t end with school graduation but that these activities continue throughout adulthood. Stiffelman points out, “Our kids are probably going to change careers many times, so they need to have the comfort/agility to learn new things.” It can be as simple as reading more. “Kids who see parents read tend to read more.” Read a new book out loud to your child, allowing you both to learn in the process. Watch documentaries or educational shows (like How It’s Made or Planet Earth) as a family and discuss what you learned at the end. You’re teaching your children that life is about learning by showing that you’re curious and still actively engaging in self-education.

Be kind to yourself

Research by the Universities of Exeter and Oxford has found that taking part in self-compassion exercises calms the heart rate, switching off the body’s threat response. Researchers believe the ability to switch off this response may lower the risk of disease. In other words, the external world poses enough challenges for your child’s self-esteem, so why role-model anything other than kindness/forgiveness for yourself?

Be creative

“Help ingrain the habit early by showing how happy creating makes you. It’s about expressing, not accomplishing” says Stiffelman. As we head into the second half of Term 1, let your children see these things in you and use this as an opportunity to help them grow.

School representation and safety on social media 

It has come to the school’s attention that some children are using social media platforms such as TikTok and Facebook to post videos of themselves. At times, the children are doing this in their school uniforms. We ask all parents to speak to their children about uploading appropriate content online, the importance of safety (i.e associating a school name with a child) and removing any affiliation to the school shown in social media posts. For your information, TikTok is intended for children 13 and over, as are most social media accounts. Please check these restrictions before allowing your child access. Thank you in advance for working with us to ensure we are keeping our children safe.

Year 6 Canberra Trip

On Friday we welcomed Year 6 back from a wonderful camp in Canberra. The children were able to participate in a range of exciting visits to Parliament House, Questacon, the Australian War Memorial and more. This is a very busy and worthwhile camp and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank teachers, Lara Kepitis, Kim Haddix, Eamon Lukins, Stuart Taylor and Erika Ktalav, for the energy and commitment they offered in order to make the camp such a success. I would also like to thank Lisa Connors for helping to organise this camp for our students. 

The Australian Government recognises the importance of all young Australians being able to visit the national capital as part of their Civics and Citizenship education. To assist families in meeting the cost of the excursion the Australian Government contributes funding of $20 per student under the Parliament and Civics Education Rebate program towards those costs. The rebate is paid directly to the School upon completion of the excursion. We have factored this into the costing for the excursion.