Emma Clemens – Deputy Head of Primary

Anxiety and school refusal – part 1

Last week I attended a very thought provoking course on anxiety and school refusal. The workshop was presented by Professor Michael Gordon who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. Increasingly, anxiety and school refusal are challenging and more prevalent issues for parents and teachers. School refusal is present in almost every school and has significant consequences for young people. There are a number of factors that contribute to school refusal including anxiety (separation, social or generalised), learning issues, poor social skills, bullying and online gaming addiction.

Professor Michael Gordon’s key message was that the treatment for school refusal is exposure to school. The longer students are away from school the harder it is to reintegrate. The reason for this is:

1. A foundation of learning can be lost and students can feel behind academically
2. Friendships can be difficult to re-establish
3. The student can exaggerate the concept of returning to school more than the reality.

Professor Gordon offered a number of practical strategies to assist with anxiety and school refusal:

1. Encourage the Stretch Zone: Picture three concentric circles. The inner circle is the comfort zone, the middle is the stretch zone and the outer is the danger zone. By default we prefer to stay in the comfort zone, but it is very important for our mental health to move into the stretch zone every day. The stretch zone varies for each individual. For some children, coming to school is in the stretch zone, but they confuse it with the danger zone. The child needs to understand that they are safe at school and the uncomfortable stretch feeling is important and good in the long run.
2. Routine: Establish a consistent routine for night-time and morning. Children need sleep to manage their emotions effectively, so a consistent early bed time is critical. Likewise, morning routine is central to arriving to school on time. Expectations drive outcomes. So if there are clear expectations and routines, children will soon stop questioning or pushing back. There is also security and safety in knowing and keeping to a set routine.
3. Tip the seesaw: A child experiencing anxiety and school refusal is in constant mental flux, like the tipping back and forth of a see saw. It is important to tip the seesaw just enough to get the child to school. This involves frequent positive reminders and prompts from adults in the child’s life, such as the parent, teacher, counsellor or school leadership team. If the child feels all the adults in their life are encouraging the same message the seesaw is more likely to tip towards school.
4. Changed drop off: Have a different adult drop the student to school, such as the father, neighbour, family friend or school mate. Often a school refusing child struggles with separation anxiety from the mother. So removing this separation in the morning can be advantageous.
5. Red and green apple choice: Offer the child choice, but the outcome will still be to return to school. So they can choose who takes them to school, where they are dropped off, which teacher will meet them at the gate or whether they participate in all lessons during the day. These choices are like selecting a red or green apple. The child must still choose an apple (coming to school) but they have a sense of a control.
6. Be aware of difficult days: The research shows that returning to school after a holiday period or after the weekend is always the hardest. Therefore, anticipate that Monday will be more difficult and put in place a plan that sets the child up for success.
7. School refusal is a problem: The research also shows that students who do not return to school have future disadvantages with regards to academic achievements, work, relationships and social functioning. Non-attendance can lead to lowered academic success and higher risk of mental health problems. Therefore, if a child is showing signs of school refusal it’s important to be very proactive to develop a plan to change this pattern of behaviour.

In Week 8 I will publish part 2 of this article, which will include seven more practical strategies for managing anxiety and school refusal.

Internet filters

I had a parent contact me asking for advice on internet filters at home. My response was as follows:

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that no web filter is completely safe. So it is really important to have best practice use and storage of technology. We recommend that all devices are used in shared living room spaces. We suggest that children do not charge their devices in their room overnight. Below are three suggestions for web filters you could use at home:

Family Zone is helpful for preventing children accessing inappropriate material. It also allows parents to set screen-time limits. Dr Kristy Goodwin who presented at Emanuel two years ago recommends this product.

Net Nanny is another widely used tool that also has parental controls, 18 filtering categories and blocks pornography. It also has time limits and social media monitoring.

Covenant Eyes promotes internet accountability by monitoring the websites used and then generating a report that can be used to start a discussion about healthy online habits. So it allows you to track what your children do. The purpose isn’t to block, it’s designed to start a conversation and educate. This might be helpful for when the children are older. 

I would also encourage you to set up Safe Search when using Google through using  Google Safe Search for Kids, GoGooligans, KidzSearch, KidsClick, KidRex and Swiggle.

Purim

Today we had a wonderful time celebrating Purim. The children began with a fashion parade to showcase their costumes, Their parade was accompanied by a special song for each class. The children then had three periods of activities relating to Purim. Years K-2 participated in a magic show, craft tasks and the reading of the Megilah. Years 3-6 created movies about Purim, made masks and learnt about leadership and values in the Megilah. Year 6H also visited Montefiore Home to celebrate Purim with the elderly as part of their Make A Difference (MAD) project. The other Year 6 classes will visit the elderly later in the year. Thank you to the Year 6 Jewish Life Leaders for running a Purim quiz and song. Thank you to Adam Carpenter, Hagit Bar-On, Rebecca Gaida and Stacey Rosenfeld for organising the day. Thank you also the the Hebrew, class and specialist teachers for running the activities for students.

BBQ day

Thank you to the Year 6 Charity Leaders, the mothers who so generously volunteered their time, and Holly Dillon for running the Primary BBQ Day on Wednesday. The money raised will be going to Giant Steps, a school founded to help educate children and families experiencing autism.

Upcoming Dates

• 13 March: ASISSA Swimming Carnival, Warringah Aquatic Centre
• 15-17 March: Year 5 Bathurst Camp, Year 6 Canberra Camp
  • Year 5 arrive 7:00 am Waxman Gate, return 2:30 pm Waxman Gate
  • Year 6 arrive 7:00 am Avoca St Gate, return 3:00 pm Waxman Gate
• 16 March: ASISSA Netball Gala Day, Heffron Park
• 16 March: Year 3 Swimming, Allsorts Fitness Centre 1:15-2:45 pm
• 22 March: Primary Open Day for prospective parents
• 23 March: Year 6 Jilkminggan Information Evening, Millie Phillips Theatre 6:00-7:30 pm
• 23 March: CIS Swimming Carnival
• 23 March: Year 3 Swimming, Allsorts Fitness Centre 1:15-2:45 pm
• 24 March: Year K Pathways Ceremony, MPH 8:20-9:30 am
• 24 March: Primary Anti-Bullying Day
• 27 March: Parent Teacher Interviews, MPH 4:00-9:00 pm
• 29 March: Parent Teacher Interviews, MPH 4:00-6:30 pm
• 30 March: Year 3 Swimming, Allsorts Fitness Centre 1:15-2:45 pm
• 31 March: Years 1-2 Swimming Carnival, Des Renford 10:30-2:15 pm
• 31 March: YK Back to Pre-school Day

Years K-2 assembly 2:00-2:50 pm Millie Phillips Theatre

Term 1

• 24 March (Week 8): Year 1 Hebrew
• 7 April (Week 10): Year 2Y Mrs Esra

Term 2

• 5 May (Week 2): EActive dance group
• 19 May (Week 4): Year 2 Hebrew
• 2 June (Week 6): Shavuot, school closed
• 16 June (Week 8) Year 2T Mrs Strub
• 30 June (Week 10): Music assembly