From the Primary School

Emma Clemens – Deputy Head of Primary

Growing Happiness – part 2

Two weeks ago I wrote about the science of happiness based on The How of Happiness’ by Sonja Lyubomirsky. Sonya is a professor of psychology at the University of California. Scientific research has determined that there are 3 important factors that determine happiness. Your happiness set point is genetically determined and affects 50% of your happiness. Life circumstances, such as whether you are you are wealthy or poor, healthy or unhealthy, married or single, determine 10% of happiness. The remaining 40% of your happiness is impacted by behaviour based on intentional activity.

Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests there are 5 strategies that can be used to change you and your child’s happiness levels using intentional activity. I will address the first 2 in this article.

Practising gratitude and positive thinking
Investing in social connections
Managing stress and hardship
Committing to your goals
Taking care of your body and your soul.

Practising gratitude and positive thinking

Expressing gratitude counteracts negative emotions. Those who express gratitude are relatively happier, more energetic and hopeful. They are also more empathetic, helpful, forgiving and less materialistic. ‘Counting your blessings’ using a gratitude journal is a good strategy for cultivating gratitude. This involves spending time each week to complete the sentence “This week I am grateful for…”. Research has shown that using a gratitude journal on a regular basis results increased levels of thankfulness and appreciation.

Similarly savouring positive experiences can increase positive thinking. This involves taking pleasure and appreciating everyday life experiences as well as special moments and events. Expressing gratitude directly to one another is also a very powerful way to bolster positive thinking. This can be done face to face, through an email or over the phone.

It is important not to over-practise gratitude. For example, counting blessings every day in the same manner can create a sense of boredom and routine which detracts from the meaning. It is important to be intentional with positive thinking, but there should also be variety in this practice.

Consider how you can cultivate gratitude and positive thinking in your family. For example, you could take time at dinner to express gratitude for something that has happened in the day; or it might be helping your child to write a letter of thanks to a friend, family member or teacher; or it might be creating a routine at after-school pick-up where the first thing you and your child discuss is something you are grateful for from the day.

Investing in social connections

“Relationships constitute the single most important factor responsible for the survival of homo sapiens” (Bercheid 2003). Social connections and relationships are central to cultivating happiness. Research has shown that happier people consistently do altruistic acts such as caring for someone who is unwell or upset, doing a household chore, helping someone to carry a heavy object or making a special meal for a family member. Those who regularly perform a high variety of altruistic acts report higher levels of happiness, whereas those who perform the same altruistic act or do not sustain a regular pattern of doing kind acts for others report lower levels of happiness.

When you are kind or generous to others, you are more likely to perceive them in a positive light. Acting kindly can also alleviate distress, guilt or frustration with others. Furthermore, when you commit acts of kindness it can have a positive impact on your own self-perception. You may begin to perceive yourself as a more positive and kind person. Positive acts also enhance positive social consequences. If you are proactively helping others, they are more likely to appreciate you. They may also express gratitude towards you which satisfies the human desire to connect with others and feel valued in relationships.

Social support is critical in times of challenge, stress and trauma. Sharing problems with others is an incredibly important coping strategy. It is also important to delight in the success of others. This involves celebrating the wins, achievements and good fortune of those around you rather than allowing jealousy to creep in. A proactive step in celebrating the success of others is to actively and constructively praise and encourage others and express joy in their good news. Another key to social relationships is effective management of conflict. Avoid harsh start ups in conversations, criticism, contempt or defensiveness. All relationships will be met with conflict at some point. The important factor is how this conflict is managed.

Consider being strategic in the way you and your children invest in relationships. It is critical to make time for relationships. Families must ensure that they invest time each week to being together, talking and sharing special experiences. Create a media-free zone at home and reserve it for conversations only. Schedule time together as a family and create shared rituals such as a going out to dinner, attending a sports match, going for a walk or cooking together. It is also very important for parents to reserve time together. Research has shown that successful partners spend 5 hours more per week being together and talking.

In my next article I will describe the final 3 strategies for increasing happiness levels using intentional activity.

PSSA Chess

Last Friday the Emanuel A Chess team competed against Strathfield South Public School in the Regional Finals of the PSSA Chess Championship. The team consisted of Jesse Gothelf, Sol Biton, Joshua Leslie and Daniel Zipser. The boys played incredibly well and tied against the opposition. Therefore they will have to reschedule another finals round in order to ascertain who will progress to the next level. Thank you to Michael Todd for his coaching expertise and to Colleen Elkins for supporting the team.

HICES Debating

Last Friday Alix Cane, Jake Newfield, Ella Hart and Miriam Stubbs-Goulston competed against Penrith Anglican College in the HICES quarter finals. The students had been successful in reaching the Junior HICES Round 5 debate. The debate was impromptu, so the students only had 1 hour to prepare. The topic was ‘That homeowners should have the choice to fence their pools’ and the Emanuel students had to debate the affirmative side. The students spoke incredibly well but unfortunately did not win the debate. It is a wonderful achievement for the Primary School team to have reached such a high level in the HICES competition. Thank you to Lauren Wigan for coaching the students, her organisation of the events and enthusiastic support throughout the debating season.

Emanuel Cup Debating

This Friday, the Primary School Debating Club will continue with the next round of the Emanuel Cup Debating Competition. The topic for the competition is ‘That contact sports are too dangerous for Primary Students’. This competition is a new initiative established by Lauren Wigan to enable a larger number of students to participate in and watch debates.

ASISSA Athletics

On Thursday, 50 students in Years 3-6 competed in the ASISSA Athletics Carnival. In addition 21 Year 6 students attended the carnival to assist teachers with the track and field events. All of the students competed very well and displayed wonderful school spirit. Thank you to Stuart Taylor for all his wonderful work organising and running the carnival. Thank you to Adam Ezekiel and Anita Kozak for supporting the students on the day.

BBQ and Crazy Hair Day

On Monday the Primary School held a fantastic fundraising event which was run by the Year 6 Charity Leaders Alix Cane, Lilia Joseph, Daniella Nesher and Lotus Van der Starre. Students were encouraged to wear a crazy hair style to school and could purchase a sausage sizzle for lunch. The event was raising money for Prince of Wales Children’s Hospital. Thank you to Holly Dillon for organising and running the BBQ and to the parents who volunteered. Thank you also to Karon Rom and Di Clennar for supporting the Year 6 Charity Leaders for this event.