Natanya Milner – Head of Primary

Deborah Blackman – Talking To Children About Difficult Topics

Last week, Deborah Blackman presented ‘Talking To Children About Difficult Topics’. Deborah uses a three-tiered approach to educate students, parents and staff. Therefore, the presentation is run in conjunction with lessons taught to students in Years K, 1, 3 and 5. In her lessons, Deborah teaches students about feelings, secrets, good touch and bad touch and useful skills for child protection.

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity between an adult and a child below the age of consent, or non-consensual activity between minors. In the parent information session, Deborah explained that sexual abuse often involves more than a single incident. Sexual abuse is not a private issue, it is a community issue that we all need to take responsibility for. When educating about sexual abuse, it is important that we don’t overemphasise the idea of ‘stranger danger’. In fact 85-90% of perpetrators of child sexual assault are known to their victims. Furthermore they specifically target their victims and can go through a very intentional process of getting close to the child (‘grooming process’).

Deborah teaches a number of matter-of-fact rules for ‘personal safety skills’ to students. The key messages for the children include:

• You have the right to feel safe
• There is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate touch
• You have the right to say “no” to a person who touches you inappropriately or threatens your safety
• It is important to tell well-trusted adults if you do not feel safe.

Deborah also teaches students strategies for preventing sexual approach. Students learn about how to identify feelings as comfortable and uncomfortable, or ‘yes’ and ‘no’ feelings. They then learn about warning signals using the illustration of a traffic light. Children are taught that if they are feeling unsafe or scared they might have a ‘no’ signal such as trembling, sweating, goose bumps or butterflies in their tummy. These are feelings that are red in a traffic light, a warning signal to tell an adult. The students repeat the message “Say no, go away and tell an adult”.

The students then learn about good secrets and bad secrets. A bad secret makes you feel unsafe or scared and this must not remain a secret, it has to be told to a trusted adult. They learn to identify comfortable and uncomfortable touch and understand how some touches such as a hug or a kiss can be comfortable or uncomfortable depending on the person giving the touch. Another key message is understanding the difference between public and private parts of the body. The students learn that nobody is allowed to look or touch their private parts and that nobody should show them their private parts. Of course, Deborah is clear about exceptions to these rules, including medical care. She also discussed that children should always ensure their parents know where they are going and who they are with.

Deborah highlights the importance of children having a number of safe, ‘go to’ adults who they can go to to discuss issues. It is a good idea to discuss this with your children and ensure they have a number of adults they could contact if they ever felt unsafe or scared or if they have a ‘bad secret’ that needs to be told.

If a child makes a disclosure to you as a parent it is important to be open and available. As the adult, it is important that you stay calm and ensure that you don’t overreact or underreact. It can be helpful to say: “I’m sorry that this happened to you, but it is good that you told me”. It is also important to believe what the child tells you. While children are sometimes confused about the details, they rarely lie about sexual abuse. Children also need to understand the message that nothing is too terrible to tell an adult and that they are not at fault. Children must know that they are never responsible for abuse.

In the presentation Deborah recommended a range of strategies for parents:

• Always believe your child
• Validate your child’s feelings
• Facilitate open communication, they can talk about anything
• Validate that your child can trust you
• Discuss who else your child can trust
• Develop a list of safe people with your child
• Define boundaries and the roles of the adults in your child’s life
• Minimise opportunity – reduce one-adult/child-situations
• Discuss and role-play scenarios
• Find teachable moments such as bath time or going to a public toilet
• Define boundaries such as roles of adults in their life.

 Deborah also suggested story books that may provide teachable moments at home:

• ‘Let’s stay safe’ The Malka and Arthur Krausman Edition, by Artscroll
• ‘How are you peeling? Foods with moods’ by Saxton Freyman and Joost Elffers
• ‘Everyone’s got a bottom’ by Tess Rowley
• ‘The trouble with secrets’ by Karen Johnson
• ‘Mr Jelly’ by Roger Hargreaves
• ‘The cuddliest cuddle in the World’ by Sarah Nash and Daniel Howarth
• ‘When I feel sad’ by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Carol Lee

Carol Lee has been unwell and is currently recovering at home. We wish her a speedy recovery and look forward to her return to Emanuel next term.

Parent Teacher Nights

We look forward to seeing you at our Parent Teacher Evenings on Monday 28 and Wednesday 30 August. In Semester 2, the Years K-2 parents are able to meet with all the specialist teachers and Years 3-6 parents are able to meet with their class teachers as well as the Hebrew, Jewish Studies, Specialist Learning Centre and Extension staff.

Talia Hynek

Talia has requested a year’s leave for 2018 so she is able to explore the world. We will miss Talia next year but wish her all the best for her year of adventure.

Milo Cricket

This Tuesday, 38 of our Year 5 students enjoyed the Milo T20 Blast Cricket Gala Day against other local schools. There were cricket games and fun competitions to be played and for many, this was a wonderful introduction to cricket. It sounds like the students had a ball! Thank you to Adam Ezekiel, Stuart Taylor and Tanya Jeckeln for organising our participation in the event, as well as supervising for the day.

Night of Song

What a wonderful evening we had, filled with talent and entertainment. The range of choirs and solos showcased an incredible amount of talent from both the Primary and High School students. Thank you to all the children who rehearsed and performed for us at the Night of Song, thank you to Danny Burley and the music staff and assisting teachers for their organisation and support.

HICES Debating

The Emanuel B Junior HICES Debating team remain undefeated as they progressed through to last Friday’s round. After having won this Preliminary Final – an impromptu debate against Broughton Anglican School – they are set to compete in the Quarter Final in the coming weeks. The topic that they debated affirmative for was “that the government should provide free wireless services to all people”. The team members are Jake Newfield, Alix Cane, Miriam Stubbs-Goulston and Oren Levin-Kahn. Thank you to Lauren Wigan who continues to enthusiastically guide and support the team.

Gan Kef

This week we were thrilled to open our newest garden area, Gan Kef (Fun Garden) outside the Kindergarten classrooms. We had a lovely ceremony with our Kindy and SRC students as well as the classes of our 2 guests of honour, Lara Isenberg and Leah Grunseit. Lara won the SRC competition to name the garden and Leah won the SRC competition to create an illustration for the garden’s sign. Mazal tov to Lara and Leah. Thank you to Michelle Favero for organising this special event for us.

Dates and events

BBQ and Crazy Hair Day

When: Monday 21 August

Why: Raising money for Prince of Wales Children’s Hospital

Cost: $3.50 for sausage sizzle

Booking: On the day, students need to bring a sealed envelope with the correct money inside (no change will be given). On the front, please write the child’s name and the order. The options are listed below:

Canteen: The canteen will be closed and it is requested that students do not bring dairy.

1. Sausage sizzle $3.50
2. Gluten free sausage sizzle $3.50
3. Vegetarian sausage sizzle $3.50

Circle of Friendship Day

When: Monday 29 August