Adina Roth – Head of Jewish Life

The ‘ah’ of potential

The year begins with excitement, groans (the shock of a 6.30 am wake-up is real), anticipation and ‘little hopes’. I don’t think any parent is exempt from little hopes that we have for our children: the hopes that they will thrive socially, engage in some sport, perform to the best of their academic capability and read (do we ask for too much?). When our kids comply, and actually behave like conscientious, active, curious and socially astute little beings, isn’t it just the best?! Except, when they don’t (to quote Dr Seuss). A friend of mine this week confided in me that her very smart son is just not interested in schoolwork. She shared, rather vulnerably, that it bothers her that in her mind he underperforms. Academics are an important value in her family of origin and it bemused and dismayed her to see her son snub the opportunity to do some good homework and reap the results.

In the same breath, she told me that her son had many friends, was the ‘jock’ of the family and had caused a viral, social media sensation at a certain national sporting event on the weekend by inscribing the letters of a sports team whose name shall not be mentioned, on his torso. I listened to my friend and said to her, your kid has friends, he loves sports and he’s killing it on social media, what more do you want?! What if our kids were just fine, exactly as they are! What if we could release our expectations?

This week’s Parshat Yitro recalls the famous moment when we receive the Ten Commandments, beginning with the famous declaration, “I am the Lord your God”. The Rabbis in our tradition pay careful attention to openings. The Torah itself in Genesis opens with the second letter of the Aleph-bet, ‘bet’ ב, Bereshit, in the beginning. According to a Midrash (ancient rabbinic interpretation), the letter Aleph, א felt overlooked and superseded by Bet at the time of creation. God comforted the Aleph by saying, “When I give the Torah at Mount Sinai, I will open with you, by saying Anochi…I am the Lord your God”. This is supposed to have mollified the Aleph who imagines ‘her’ grand entrance on Mount Sinai, wearing a silver boa! However, the Israelites are so frightened to hear God’s voice that at the time of the Ten Commandments, the Aleph barely emerges. God begins to utter the “ah” of “Anochi”, and the Israelites beg for God to be silent. Talk about anti-climax! According to this Midrashic reading, God says “ah” and Moses says the rest.

Aleph may not outshine the other letters with a grand sound, but the “ah” bears the distinction of being the only sound actually uttered by God. Therefore, the Aleph’s so-called under-performance acquires its own potency. The Aleph’s exhale does not come with pre-determined ideas. It is the exhale of potential, the surrendering to the universe of pre-conceptions and expectations so that what needs to unfold, can unfold. It is the sound of infinite potential.

At the beginning of each year, we arrive with expectations of ourselves and our partners, and also the ‘little hopes’ for our children. These expectations (I speak from experience), can sometimes hamper our kids, not allowing them to be who they need to be and filling ourselves with unnecessary disappointment, as they don’t meet some imagined ideal.

The little Aleph from which everything else comes seems underwhelming. But the Aleph becomes the foundation on which the rest of the Ten Commandments and indeed the entire Torah stands. The silent exhale of the Aleph is the permission to be upon which all true self actualisation depends, the permission to be who we are!

Shabbat Shalom