Adina Roth – Head of Jewish Life

As we approach the most Awe-filled day of the Jewish year, I am filled with mixed feelings. There is the obvious discomfort of no food or drink for 24 hours. What is even less comfortable is the way in which Yom Kippur invites us to scrutinise ourselves and find where we come up short. We perform Vidui (Confession) and Al Cheyt (a recitation of sins). In psychological language, we might imagine Yom Kippur as the day where the superego gleefully flagellates us for missing the mark…again. Is this the right way to approach Yom Kippur?

The book of Jonah, which we read on the afternoon of Yom Kippur is famous for its fairy-tale scenes of Jonah’s survival in a big fish for three nights. What is less well known, is that the God of Jonah is deeply compassionate, caring not just for the Jewish people but for all people, championing the ultimate goodness of humanity. God tells Jonah to go to the great city of Ninveh and warn them to change their ways. It is punitive and stubborn Jonah who wants to exact pure justice on the city of Ninveh. “If they have done bad, why should they be forgiven?” he seems to say as he ducks and dives God’s command. God patiently says to Jonah, “I want to forgive the people of Ninveh”. However, in the story, God does not just show compassion to the people of Ninveh but to the stubborn, moody Jonah himself.

When the people of Ninveh finally do a full Teshuvah and God forgives them, Jonah puts on a massive sulk. God addresses Jonah as a kind, therapist might saying, “Jonah are you good and angry now?’”Jonah responds hurling an insult at God, “I am so angry because I know you are a God of compassion and grace…”. Here, Jonah draws on the line central to our Yom Kippur prayers “Hashem Hashem, El Rachum Ve’chanun,” but instead of using it as praise and gratitude for a compassionate God, Jonah hurls it as an insult. To put it in modern terms, Jonah is saying, “Why don’t You punish these people. You’re such a wimp!”. God responds by patiently planting a gourd, offering Jonah shade from the punishing heat. God teaches Jonah about compassion and kindness by modelling it to him. God really is the best therapist.

How different are we from Jonah? We tend to think of kindness and compassion as soft qualities and we push ourselves to do better, sometimes developing an inner critic that evaluates our performance and goads us towards some elusive perfection. Some of us enter Yom Kippur in this way, criticising ourselves for our mistakes of the past year. However, if we are to emulate God, the way into Yom Kippur needs to be filled with compassion. 

A beautiful story is told in the Talmud, Tractate Brachot. Once, the High Priest Rabbi Eliezer entered the Holy of Holies one Yom Kippur and found God sitting on a throne. God said to Rabbi Eliezer, “Bless me”. Rabbi Eliezer said, “May it be Your will, that your compassion is greater than your anger, greater than all your other qualities and that you judge Israel with compassion and softly”.  In this radical little story, God asks for humanity’s blessing. Could it be that God wants us to draw out God’s compassion and emulate it ourselves? Yom Kippur is the day where we meet ourselves intimately, we look at ourselves in relation to our family, our work, our inner and outer worlds. We can look with the sharp edge of a cutting knife, or we can look with compassion. Perhaps we need to imagine Yom Kippur as a day spent with a kind, loving and wise therapist, who sees what we can become and holds us as we get there with compassion and love.

Wishing you all a G’mar Chatimah Tovah, May you be sealed for a good and sweet New Year