Adina Roth – Head of Jewish Life

This week’s parsha Toldot  takes us into an ancient Hebrew family soap opera replete with rivalry, jealousy, cheating and lying.

The story follows on from last week where Rivkah and Yitzchak are married and eventually give birth to twins Yaakov and Eisav. As sometimes happens with siblings, the boys couldn’t be more different from each other. Eisav is hairy, Yaakov is smooth, Eisav is a hunter with a bow and arrow, Yaakov is called ‘simple – ish tam’, Eisav’s terrain is the wild, Yaakov prefers the tent, Eisav hunts meat and Yaakov cooks lentils. Significantly, Eisav is loved by his father and Yaakov is very much a ‘mommy’s boy.’ For all their differences however, Rashi points out that the boys are gripped by a similar goal. He cites the Midrash to suggest  that when they were in the womb, the twins clashed with each other because they both wanted the first born rights, which would lead to the blessing. According to an ancient biblical law, the first born was always favoured for the richer blessing and the birthright. As Eisav turns out to be the first born he is optioned for this privilege, but Yaakov is not going to take this lying down. The boys may be different but deep down, they long for the same thing!

Our story picks up when the twins are near grown and it is time for the parents to give the bracha! We are told in the text that Yitzchak is old and his eyes are too dim for seeing. He calls Eisav and says, go and make me some of your fine meat, bring it to me and I will give you ‘my innermost blessing’. Rivkah is eavesdropping on the conversation and, because she prefers Yaakov to inherit the blessing, she goes to Yaakov with an orchestrated plan. She will prepare a meat stew for him and will also give him hairy goat-skins to wear on his neck and arms. Essentially Rivkah advises Yaakov to disguise himself as his brother, trick his father and steal the first born blessing! Morally complex? This looks downright wrong!

A little while later, Yaakov comes in front of his father  and says, ‘I am Eisav, your firstborn’. He continues, by offering a meat dish and asking for the blessing. Yitzchak asks Yaakov to come closer so that he may feel whether he is indeed Eisav. Yaakov draws closer and his father feels his now-hairy arms and says the famous line:

‘The voice is the voice of Jacob but the hands are Eisav’s hands’ and with this, he gives Yaakov the blessing.

This changes the course of the Jewish people’s destiny. Through Jacob, the Jewish people receive a powerful blessing and Eisav loses out. The question is, how could Yaakov the third father of the Jewish people obtain our blessing in this morally questionable way?

This is a tough one and there have been many attempts to explain Yaakov (and his mother’s) actions. Many point out that Yaakov does not get away with this and indeed, his deceit is something that comes back to bite him. Indeed, shortly after Yaakov receives the blessing, he runs away from his home, is tricked into marrying the wrong woman and is forced to stay away from his home for many years. He is forced to reckon with what he did. Nevertheless, I am going to offer an interpretation based on a reading by biblical scholar Avivah Zornberg, which I call ‘The Power of Disguise’. We recently celebrated Halloween and we all know how much fun it is to dress up! Disguise enables different parts of ourselves to emerge. Behind a mask, a shy person might feel more bold, a softly-spoken person might become louder, or a serious person might become more playful. Disguise is power!

Yaakov’s destiny was to become the third father of the Jewish people but at this point in his life, he was not in his full power. Zornberg describes that in contrast to his brother, Yaakov lacks a certain life force. He sits more passively in the tents, while his brother occupies the Middle Eastern ‘outback.’ He is physically insipid compared to his brother’s ruddy hairiness.

It seems as if Rivkah understood that in order for Yaakov to grow up and become the third father of the Jewish people, he needed to discover his own wildness, his own strength, his own  complexity and maturity. Is it possible that when Yaakov disguises himself as Eisav, symbolically speaking, he becomes a bit like his brother?

Hair and hairiness in the Torah and in literature is often a symbol of power. Consider the iconic hair of Sampson and how it gave him strength! King David was known for courage and his curls. Even in Bronte’s Jane Eyre, the mad and powerful Bertha in the attic is described as having curly tresses, while the more demure Jane Eyre sits in the house below. Yaakov’s applies hair like his big hairy brother, and perhaps, becomes more of a wild, embodied, man. 

The Sefat Emet, a Hasidic commentator says that in the moment that Yaakov dressed up as Eisav he became like his brother. He writes ‘When he (Yaakov) said I am Eisav your first born, he was speaking the truth in terms of his inner self and destiny.’ Similarly the Midrash writes that when Yaakov left his father, he became a champion fighter and an athlete, like his brother Eisav.

In psychological language, human beings can get caught in the Yaakov or Eisav syndrome. We can assume that we are something while our brother/friend/neighbour is something else. We can type ourselves and others. I am clever, they are wealthy… I am sporty, they are arty…he is a coder, she is an influencer. We might also unconsciously do this with our children. He is the quirky one, she is the responsible one, she is academic, he is a dreamer. These labels might contain some truth, but they can also be limiting.

The message of Yaakov is a message around human potential and wholeness: we are always more than what we thought ourselves to be. We can be part this AND part that. We can be Yaakov with bits of Eisav, we can be Eisav with bits of Yaakov. In disguising himself, Yaakov claimed something for the Jewish people – and for all people – the ability to become more whole, so that whomever we are, we can receive the good blessings and inherit the good stuff!

Shabbat Shalom