Rabbi Daniel Siegel – Head of Jewish Life

A good death

A reporter for The Times, a British newspaper, asked a prominent member of the Jewish community and of the House of Lords, “Most people, when they reach their 92^nd birthday, start thinking about slowing down. You seem to be speeding up. Why is that?” The Lord replied: “When you get to 92, you start seeing the door close, and I have so much to do before the door closes that the older I get, the harder I have to work”.

Our parashah, Chayei Sarah (the Life of Sarah), which opens with the death of Sarah, tells us, immediately after he buries his wife, that: “Avraham was old (zakein), advancing in years”. In burying his life partner, Avraham is confronted by his own mortality.

In the very next verse, we are told that Avraham calls upon the “zakein of his house”, his senior servant, to help him put his house in order, which includes the critical responsibility of finding a suitable wife for his son, to carry on his line now that he will soon join Sarah. The door is closing for Avraham, and he heightens his engagement in preparing for the future of his household and loved ones.

A well-known Talmudic story relates:

One day, Honi the ‘Circle Maker’ was walking on the road and saw an old man planting a carob tree. Honi asked the man: “How long will it take for this tree to bear fruit?”

The man replied, “Seventy years.”

Honi asked: “And do you think you will live another seventy years and eat the fruit of this tree?”

The man answered: “Perhaps not. However, when I was born into this world, I found many carob trees planted by my father and grandfather. Just as they planted trees for me, I am planting trees for my children and grandchildren so they will be able to eat the fruit of these trees”.

Avraham was able to prepare for his progeny because he was able to harvest the fruits of his own lifetime. Avraham lived challenging God and challenging himself. He was not afraid of dying because he was not afraid of living. When Avraham does die we hear that it is at a “good ripe age, old (zakein) and contented”.

The word zakein, meaning “old” (and elder), connotes, within the Jewish tradition, one who is wise (“zeh kanah chachmah”- this one has acquired wisdom). Wisdom is acquired through experiencing and learning from life.

A Yiddish saying teaches us:

Old Age to the Unlearned is Winter, to the Learned it is Harvest Time

Perhaps it is significant that our parashah, which describes the death of our first matriarch and patriarch, goes by the word ‘Life’. For the wise, it is life well-lived that makes for a good death.