Anxiety

On Monday 15 August we were privileged to have our School Counsellor Kim Slender present at one of our Parent Information Sessions on the topic ‘There’s Nothing Wrong With Us, Please Fix Our Kids’. The focus for her presentation was how to parent anxious children. Anxiety is a fear, worry or dread which is out of proportion with the actual circumstances and therefore interferes with daily functioning. Anxiety can be divided into emotional, cognitive, behavioural and physical symptoms. Emotional symptoms include persistent worry or fear, increased irritability and sadness. Cognitive symptoms include difficulty paying attention and being easily distracted. Behavioural symptoms include avoidance, social difficulties, excessive shyness and inability to relax. Physical symptoms include sleep difficulties, somatic complaints and lack of appetite.

Risk factors for anxiety include genetic vulnerability, temperament, being female and environment. Research in epigenetics shows us that environment and genes can lead to inherited stress or trauma. The home environment can switch this gene on or off. Therefore, anxious parents are more likely to have anxious children. The Family Systems Approach looks at the functioning of the family and how patterns develop over generations. This philosophy stipulates that current levels of external stress within the family can determine the degree of anxiety in a child. Therefore, parents must act as co-regulators in order to reduce anxiety by remaining calm and helping their child self soothe. Kim used the illustration of an oil filter to demonstrate how parents need to assist children in filtering anxiety. The way a parent reacts to any event or circumstance acts as the filter for a child. Therefore, as a parent it is important to know about your own anxiety so that your child can helpfully filter their anxiety through you. 

Multigenerational transmission process is the way in which family emotional traits are transferred and maintained over the generations. Research has shown that patterns of anxious thoughts and ideas are easily transmitted within families. Secondary traumatic stress highlights the interpersonal nature of trauma, stress and anxiety passed from generation to generation. Again this highlights the vulnerability of children to their parents’ anxiety. A child’s response to an event is more determined by the parent’s attitudes, than by the intensity of an experience.

 It is critical for children experiencing anxiety to work on developing resilience. If a child always has their needs met, they are not equipped to develop independence and inner strength. The first step in developing resilience is acceptance of anxious feelings and thoughts. We need to teach our children that it is okay to have anxious or upsetting thoughts, this is a natural survival response. Children must learn to self soothe, knowing that they can grow through difficult experiences.

 The second step is commitment to goal setting. When a child is anxious about an upcoming event or experience, the parent and child together should agree on a manageable goal to commit to. This should involve encouraging the child to step out of their comfort zone and face their anxiety. When the event or activity takes place, the child and parent must stay committed to the agreed goal. Anxiety is often irrational and unfounded. When a child is anxious their pre-frontal cortex is flooded with cortisol, which reduces their capacity to think cogently. In the moment of anxiety, it is critical to commit to the agreed goal in a calm and rational manner. 

Kim described how authoritative parenting is most effective in managing the dance of anxiety. This approach makes the child feel valued, promotes high self-esteem and rewards to positive behaviour. Authoritative parenting also has clear boundaries and logical consequences for poor behaviour. Authoritative parenting is different to a controlling authoritarian approach or a dismissive approach where there is lots of love but little discipline. Research has shown that authoritative parents raise children who are more independent and self-reliant. 

Mindfulness and meditation is an effective strategy to calm anxious children. In our PAWS and .b mindfulness programs children have learnt about neurological responses to stress and anxiety. Our amygdala scans the environment for danger. A fight, flight or freeze response causes our pre-frontal cortex to shut down limiting our ability to make logical decisions. However, we can down regulate and train or amygdala through being mindful. Training our minds helps create a relaxation response so that stress responses don’t take over. Below are listed a number of apps that can be used to support mindfulness and meditation at home.

Kim concluded her presentation with an appeal for parents to honestly consider what they bring to their family situation. She asked a number of questions including:

• How much pressure do you put on your child to perform?
• What message do you give your child about the world?
• Are you a helicopter parent?
• Do you overprotect your child?
• Do you fight your child’s battles for them?
• Do you allow your child to avoid tough situations?

As you reflect on your child and family environment consider strategies that you can impart to mitigate against anxiety. 

There are two more parent information sessions this term:

1. ‘7 Habits for Families’ Monday 29 August and Monday 5 September presented by Tany Milner, Emma Clemens and Kim Slender  7:00-9:00pm in the Angles Leadership and Learning Centre
2. ‘7 Habits for Jewish Parenting’ presented by Rabbi Gourarie on Thursday 8 September 7:30-8:30am in the Primary Library

To sign up to any of the Parent Information Evenings go to: http://bit.ly/1gN3frc

 Recommended Reading

• The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine
• The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel
• Parenting Your Anxious Child with Mindfulness and Acceptance by Christopher McCurry

Meditation and Anxiety Apps

Smiling Mind

Mood Meter

Worry Box

ReachOut Breathe

Instrumental Music Festival

On Tuesday we held our inaugural Instrumental Music Festival. It was a tremendous night of performances from students in Kindergarten up to Year 12. There were three parts to the evening. Part 1 involved the strings concert including all IP and extra curricular ensembles. Part 2 was the Jazz Club with outdoor dining and entertainment from Primary and High School jazz ensembles. Then Part 3 was the wind and percussion concert which involved all the IP and extra curricular ensembles. The students are to be congratulated on such an incredibly diverse and successful concert. Thank you very much to all the IP tutors who have been working with the Primary students in preparation for the concert. Thank you also to our brilliant music staff David Gwilliam, Diana Springford, Susan Longney and Joanne De Araujo for organising such a fantastic evening. 

Year 2 Make A Difference (MAD) Project

As part of our The Leader In Me (TLIM) program each grade has a collaborative project where they focus on putting the 7 Habits into action in order to make a difference in the world. These projects are focused on a range of different needs in our local and global community. This week Year 2 made a tremendous impact through their MAD project. On Thursday the students baked challah which they sold to the Emanuel community in order to raise money for Our Big Kitchen. Thank you to Roslynn Pardy and Nicole Esra for organising the excursion and supporting the Year 2 students with their MAD project. 

ASISSA Athletics Carnival

On Thursday 35 Years 3-6 students competed in the ASISSA Athletics Carnival at ES Marks. The students represented Emanuel with great enthusiasm and commitment. Congratulations to all of the students who achieved a new personal best and improved their record from the school carnival. Thank you to Stuart Taylor who organised the ASISSA carnival. Thank you also to Adam Ezekiel and Sharon Fairfax for supporting the children on the day. 

K-2 Play Equipment

Any Kindergarten children who are playing on the K-2 play equipment before 3:30pm must be supervised by their parents. It is very important that the children keep their noise to a minimum as there are classes taking place near to the equipment. The K-2 play equipment is also closed before and after school as there is no staff supervision at these times. 

Upcoming Dates

• 29 September: Parent Information Session – 7 Habits For Families Part 1, 7:00-8:30pm Angles Leadership and Learning Centre
• 31 August: Year 6 Excursion Sydney Jewish Museum, 10:30am-1:00pm
• 2 September: Year 5 Interrelate ‘Minding Me’ program
• 2 September: Father’s Day Breakfast and Stall
• 5 September: Parent Information Session – 7 Habits For Families Part 2, 7:00pm-8:30pm Angles Leadership and Learning Centre
• 6 September: Years K-6 BBQ 
• 6 September: Year 4 James Roy Author Presentation
• 6 September: HJEI Chess, 8:30-3:00pm Mount Sinai
• 8 September:  Parent Information Session – 7 Habits For Jewish Parenting, 7:30am-8:30am, Primary Library
• 9 September: Year 5 Interrelate ‘Minding Me’ program
• 9 September: Years 5-6 IPSHA Debating versus St Spyridon College
• 16 September: Project Heritage, 11:15am-1:10pm MPH
• 22 September: Years K-2 Gala Day, Centennial Park
• 23 September: Rosh Hashanah and Grandparents and Friends Day, 9:30am-11:45am MPH

K-2 Assembly Term 3

• 2 September Week 7: Year K Hebrew (both classes)
• 16 September Week 9: 1 Be’er Sheva (Talia Hynek’s Class)

BBQ Day

When: Tuesday 6 September

Why: Indigenous Literacy Foundation

Cost: $3.50 for sausage sizzle

Booking: On the day, students need to bring a sealed envelope with the correct money inside (no change will be given). On the front, please write the child’s name and the order. The options are listed below:

1. Sausage sizzle $3.50

2. Gluten free sausage sizzle $3.50

3. Vegetarian sausage sizzle $3.50

Canteen: The canteen will be open, but Primary children will not be allowed to order or purchase food at lunch time. It is requested that students do not bring dairy on the day.